Everyone hold onto your @sses ^H^H^H^H^H^H health, it's almost July 1!

So, anyone who knows anything about medical education knows this -- FOR MULE'S SAKE, DON'T GET SICK/HURT IN JULY! That's because people like me, new interns, are about to be unleashed upon the poor defenseless (well not entirely) inhabitants of teaching hospitals around the country. Now, it's not that we're stupid. It's not that we don't care. It's not that we're not trying, or, in other words, scared sh!tless that we're going to do something wrong. It's just that there is no way in hell we could have been fully prepared for the responsibilities that are suddenly thrust upon us. And, our predecessors have just been bumped up a notch to their own new responsibilities, and are also so eager to bug the hell out of internship that there is really no room or time for the handholding we might want or need. It may not be as bad as it sounds -- in some places and situations, I might argue that you're safer in July than you might otherwise be, as your intern's work is being checked more carefully than ever -- but that depends on who has time to do the checking.

So we prepare for exhaustion, frustration, terror, sadness, joy, responsibility, power, powerlessness, and more -- while trying not to kill anyone. We're actually all trying to do better than that, trying to heal and comfort everyone -- but after a few hours (or many more), no matter how high our aspirations, we are reduced to the former effort. You see, in addition to trying to recall and USE all of the medical knowledge that fried our brains for the last four or more years, we are trying to learn a half-dozen or more cryptic computer systems, figure out which consults need a fax/phone call/computer entry/or combination thereof, figure out which drugs are on formulary, find the "good" bathroom/ the call room/ the call room combination/ the locker room/ the locker room combination, how to work the scrub machine, AND SO MUCH MORE -- all while all we REALLY want to do is save a life, relieve pain, and basically make our patients better. And, mind you, this is all going on while we are still secretly saying to ourselves "holy crap, am I wearing a LONG coat?! Damn, I just wrote a prescription, and signed it myself!?" and each time we introduce ourselves as "Dr. So and So" we dance between pride and fear. Terror even. Or at least, I do. I don't know about the others, because, you see, they're all good at acting like they know it all and/or nothing bothers them. Or maybe they do, and nothing does. Maybe *I* just don't belong here -- but I'm told that we all feel that way. And now, I must do some laundry and unpack some boxes from this palace of cardboard that surrounds me, because starting tomorrow, I have no full weekends off for weeks and weeks. Remind me to tell you about the bastard stepchild that is the Transitional Intern, some other time.

BEHOLD, for I have graduated!

Shockingly, I now have a new set of letters behind my name ... M.D. !

I have almost completed 2+ weeks of the-world's-longest-check-in-process now, and on Sunday will start my first day as a real live intern, doing intern things. Scarey, no!?